What if…
What if…
No one likes to fail until they have seen the benefits of failure. As I type this, I can see all the times I fought with shame for the places I failed.
However, I have developed a peculiar love for the journey — what if this craze works?
It is funny that I would fear and dare in the same heartbeat. Yet, of what use is a heart that does not beat like war drums anticipating what would be and whether this is the right time to dive?
I love the dive every single time. Yet, none of those dives made me feel like I was not going into a watery grave.
The first time I launched my webzine, a writer plagiarized content from another site and even copied Google adverts — all the lawsuits you could think of were running through my mind as I called my lawyer asking what kinds of contracts I needed to put in place.
Sometimes, I wish I was not so scared when AI hit the market — If I had dared to continue, my webzine would have no less than 100 articles as I type this.
What if the work is not hard and the fear is merely in your head? What if you have what it takes to wrestle with the problems on your path?
What if love is waiting?
Tina has been in love with George for six months but is unsure if this is love as she does not spend enough time with him to know. George is a handsome man. She does not want to get too close and realize he is dating someone else.
George glances at Tina, wondering why she looks lost while the weekly brief goes on. He quickly dials her number and ends the call with a nod, indicating it is her turn to present.
Tina stood up a little shaky…he knew my name…he had my number…he was watching out for me. But she focuses on her presentation. George looks away during most of her presentation…she thinks I am a stalker…she is pretty…she is out of my league.
You and I are George and Tina — we conclude that who we want does not want us. We spend more time telling our therapist what we feel than telling the people who can act on those feelings.
I had to tell myself that sometimes, I am the wrong person for my clients to speak to. You are in a session telling me how you cannot stop acting like a twelve-year-old when you see the man, but he thinks you are avoiding him.
Come on! What if? They say the worst thing you will get is a no — I think you will be heartbroken if it does not work, but I also think one or two heartbreaks will not kill you (especially if you have been keeping your heart like porcelain on a shelf).
What if money is waiting?
Multiple people told me that I chose the unprofitable side of therapy — sex trauma. They were correct, but no law said I had to do one thing.
While grumbling one day, I felt the urge to check how much money moved within the lingerie industry, the matchmaking space, the pornography market, etc. When I was done, I knew the industry was never the problem.
What if you are broke because you think where you are is all there is?
In 2020, I saw a job in Uganda as a country representative for an NGO headquartered in the UK. The salary for that role in Naira was about seven hundred thousand Naira to a Million Naira.
What if the job is not the problem but your unwillingness to move elsewhere?
What if your side business does not require forty-hour weeks and an office space when starting? You will never know because you did no business survey, drew no budget, wrote no business plan, researched no competitor, nor checked how digital media can make your journey easier.
What if you are the obstacle?
What if healing is waiting?
TJ and Adamma will not stop fighting because TJ does not speak to anyone older than himself, not even her father. Ada is upset because their wedding can get postponed for the fourth time.
TJ swears he will take a bullet for her as long as she does not ask him to speak with her father.
TJ is afraid of authority figures, but we do not know the trauma behind his behaviour or decisions. At this point, he either heals or loses the woman he loves.
If TJ is this scared of authority, it means he likely has no older male figure in his life — he has no comfort and no wisdom on days he cannot trust himself.
It also means He will likely never do well with owning a business where he has board members and investors because those are authority figures he has to communicate and negotiate with.
What if you are stranded in life because your past lives in your present and your future is infinitely postponed?
Your hurt is valid, but your healing is also valid if you will reach for it.