Recruiting your family and friends as your matchmakers can be the easiest part of your dating process if you know how to milk it. Choose Wisely!
Your family and friends love you or at least, feel entitled to the details of your life. This means they are most likely to ask about your dating life, what’s stopping you, mention your relationship status somewhere and say things about you that you don’t have the nerve to say for yourself. So, use their tendencies wisely so you also don’t end up in a situation without boundaries.
1️⃣ Choose family and friends who love you. The people who love you will go out of their way to ensure you are safe, cared for and nurtured. That makes them the no-nonsense police to people who don’t love you. Family & friends who love you will spot someone who’s toxic from you a mile away and apologies if that person got in your life because of them.
2️⃣ Choose family and friends who know you: a person can genuinely love you because you are their blood or they are just kind but they still do not know you. When people don’t know you though, it’s usually because they do not pay enough attention to you or because you hold yourself away from them. Either way, if this person wants to help but doesn’t know you, their recommendations will always be off.
3️⃣ Choose people who play the long-term game: you don’t want to be introduced to someone just because Easter is in two weeks. You want an uncle who would look at that young lady in church and say “I think your kids need a mother like her”. See? Long-term.
Now, recruiting these loving, intentional and long-term thinking family and friends is as simple as a broadcast message: Send 6 pictures of yourself and add this message to the description
“I should be sending these pictures to my man/woman not to you but you’ve refused to introduce me to anyone. DO BETTER”
Then follow up with a candid text about how you mean it and are open to being introduced.
Think of this as the numbers game: multiple people speaking to different sets of people about you, reaching potentials you have no access to. Someone somewhere has to know someone if they are prayerfully doing this search.
Pictures to send
Pictures that show the non-professional side of you; this is not LinkedIn. Think playful, relaxed, date night, family, etc. Images of you in everyday life.
Flirting begins long before you start speaking. Do you enjoy yourself? Where is the evidence that you enjoy yourself? If we have never spoken to you before, how do we have an idea of you?
Pictures (and videos) make fantastic materials for self-introduction. Unfortunately, we’ve limited this to work and wonder why we have prospective clients but not dates.
If you want dates that could lead to marriage, give your family and friends candid pictures of you they can use to introduce you to potential mates they may meet.
Safety Net
Discuss with your loved ones about how to turn down a person if it’s a no for you. So you do not harm your relationship with your loved ones or harm their relationship with their community.
