Ask for a matchmaker

I have always been open to Matchmaking but my bible has my mind entirely blown on the subject in this season of my life.

Matchmaking is something we consider when we believe we have failed in dating by ourselves. But, I think that is the wrong approach. Matchmaking is not a standalone activity where your dating is outsourced.

I believe Matchmaking is when a person with more vision, or more courage than you, partners with you to secure a great relationship you would have lost without their help.

Our case study for today is Ruth and Boaz and I know these two characters have been overflogged but given me one chance to show you some juicy details you may have previously missed because you were not looking for them. I recommend you read the whole book of Ruth after reading and praying the prayer today.

Ruth chapter one begins with Naomi and Elimelech’s story. Nothing out of the ordinary save a family looking for greener pastures and then it pans to death, after death and another death leaving three women as widows. Chapter one is tragic but we soon forget the weight of it when a new love story begins to brew (just like we forget our previous heartbreak when new love begins to sprout).

Orpah goes back home (rightfully so) because she likely has a family that is waiting for her. Ruth on the other hand REFUSES to go back home in a way that made me ask myself two questions:

Was Ruth disowned after she married outside her tribe/ is she an Orphan girl who has no one to return to?

Did Ruth take her wedding vow about leaving her people and cleaving to her husband’s people too seriously?

I do not know which of the two it is but I do realise Ruth makes a “till death do us part” promise to Naomi like she must have her husband. Ruth is loyal even in death!

In our world, Ruth is the woman who is romantically disadvantaged because people will take her kindness and loyalty for granted. Ruth is the daughter you are terrified of having because you think the world will not be kind to her. Ruth is the person we will subconsciously mistreat because we know she will never leave or forsake us. Yet, Ruth is the woman whose heart Yahweh defends because a bruised reed will not be broken by our God.

This is good news for you if you are an open, compassionate, gentle and loving person that this world has attempted to abuse or deprive of love. You can drop your phone and rejoice that Yahweh will fight for your heart. God is capable of keeping a covenant with your heart and defending your affection.

Right now, death may not be the reason you are single; divorce, a runaway partner, a failed wedding, being mighty wealthy or influential that everyone thinks you are interested in love, or just regular old neglect may be the reason you are single. Whatever it is, Man of God/ Woman of God, God can meet your romantic needs.

Our lover girl Ruth follows Naomi home and goes out looking for food. Guess whose farm she ends up on? Cute, Rich, Uncle Boaz’s farm. Don’t tell me he’s not cute; it’s my story to tell.

By the providential hand of God, Ruth ends up on the field of this man described as a mighty man of wealth. She speaks with the staff and they allow the poor girl. Ruth wasn’t even trying to seduce anyone; she was just trying to get food for herself and the woman she has promised to live with until death separates them. Ruth was keeping her promise even if it means going to a farm where she knows no one so she can get help. Perhaps, you need to get off your bum and go where you have never gone so you can meet someone you have never met. Amen? Amen. Moving on

Boaz arrives from his business/ spiritual trip to Bethlehem and sees the maiden. Boaz knew everyone on his property enough to identify the stranger (that’s a free business lesson there). But, I want you to focus on Boaz’s actions here:

Verse 5: Whose Damsel is this? Boaz enquired about her. You can claim that his staff were obliged to respond so he asked or you can pay attention to the part where he did not mind his staff knowing he found this woman outstanding (attractive is what I really want to say. Just so you know).

Verse 8: Boaz goes to Ruth to speak to her. Yes, he called her daughter because she was significantly younger and that is what he would have called anyone her age. Yet, Boaz did not need to tell her any of those things himself! He could have sent a staff and that message would have been passed.

He tells her all the things he has reserved for her. Then somehow manages to tell her that he has told the young men to back off. He could have just quietly marked territory with the young men but he came to let Ruth know that girl, you are not unattractive, I warned the young men off. No man on my property will bother you. Yeah, it can be a fatherly move but it can also be a husband move; it is the move of a man who has found a territory worth protecting.

Verse 11: he goes ahead to praise her for her kindness towards her mother in-law and praises her character. Girl, you are not just visible to my eyes, I see your person, I see your character, I see your soul and you are kind!

Verse 12: He blesses her! In modern times, we would say he prayed over her. It is one thing for a man to like you and another for him to withdraw from his spiritual bank account with God for your sake. It was not just pleasantries here. That man declared a blessing over her.

Verse 13 Ruth is still trying to find favour in his sight like all these signs were not enough favour. Remember Ruth was not playing games so she could not see that she had found favour in this man’s eyes. Ruth could not see that everything that made Boaz as a man was been offered to her. Ruth was either clueless or she felt she was helpless (how can he choose me)

Verse 14: Boaz passes food to her during the team break. Girl, when I am around, you eat well. You are not getting anorexic on my watch.

Verse 15 & 16, Boaz commands the young men to do for Ruth what he had previously commanded them to do. He then adds the same warning twice: reproach her not, rebuke her not.

In Nigeria, this is when Ruth officially got “Oga Madam” status. This is the place where Ruth could have asked the driver if he could drop her at home and even if the driver did not agree, he would have done it for fear that he may lose his job. Yet, Ruth went on gleaning like it was business as usual. Boaz had turned on green light, head lamp, flood light, stadium light and my precious Auntie Ruth was either clueless or she felt helpless. Thank God for Mama Naomi, the matchmaker.

Ruth gets home, gives Naomi the extra food from lunch and retells her day to her. Naomi says okay and collects all the clues she needs. Chapter 2 ends with her instructing Ruth to stay by the maidens and also not go to another farm. Girl, stay on his radar. Do not stay by the young men and give him a wrong signal. Do not mess up the miracle that I see coming.

Chapter 3: 1, Naomi then sells marriage to Ruth as rest. You are probably still single because you cannot see the benefit of marriage. Sex is a great reason but for most people, it is not enough reason. Beyond the noise, I think you need to write out 5 ways marriage will bless your life. Moving on

Verse 2-4, Naomi the Matchmaker says to Ruth “this is how you let him know that you are available”. Had Naomi not intervened, I dare to say that Ruth and Boaz would see each other, veil their eyes daily and be warm in their stomach but say nothing. Uncle Boaz would not want to be inappropriate and Auntie Ruth will not want to be too forward.

Ruth’s response in verse 5 tells me three things:

Ruth had observed this man and was absolutely interested in him.

Ruth was glad someone knew what needed to be done because she had not had any good ideas before now to bridge this gap even though affection was on both sides

Ruth had been eager about this relationship but did not think it would ever happen.

Naomi’s instruction gave Ruth hope again. Naomi’s instruction bridged the gap. Naomi’s instruction, rewarded Ruth for not turning back. Naomi’s instruction killed the thought that Boaz was out of Ruth’s league.

One right instruction by the right person for the right reason can save you years of heartache. People have lost the love of their lives because someone said the wrong thing to one party. People have missed out on love because they had affection but did not have the wisdom, or direction to bridge the gap.

The job of the matchmaker is bridging the gap. A matchmaker is a romantic intercessor. A matchmaker sees the tide of love turning and helps you set your sail right so you can ride the tide.

The problem is not your surfing skill, your surfboard or the tide, the problem is that all three are out of alignment and a matchmaker brings alignment.

When Ruth obeys, it takes Boaz less than 12 hours to seal all arrangements and get blessed at the gate. That morning, the matter was concluded. While the matter was getting concluded, I am very sure Ruth was agitating or Naomi wouldn’t have told her to “sit still” in 3:18.

Naomi told Ruth when to act, and when to refrain and let the man be the man. The man did a quick work the moment Ruth gave him a green light meaning he had been waiting! You need a matchmaker. You need to ask God to send you someone to intercede on your behalf romantically.

Prayer 1: Lord, I need help romantically. I don’t know how to be safe out here by myself. I know you have called me to love but I do not know how to ensure I do not get hurt. Help me.

Prayer 2: Lord, cause my steps and the steps of my beloved to align. Bring us into the same space that allows us to interact. Let there be instant recognition and response on both our sides.

Prayer 3: Lord, send us a matchmaker after your heart. Someone who is schooled by the spirit of wisdom in the affairs of the heart. Someone who would help us to steward our affections.

Prayer 4: God give our matchmaker wisdom to help us bridge the gap. Help us to know how to close the gap that is keeping us single even though we are around each other.

Prayer 5: Lord, let our process be smooth, fast and guided by your spirit. We will not delay what you have given speed to in Jesus Name.