Shield of Love: you need love from every industry

A few years ago, a friend got duped by a mentor who took his idea and made money out of the idea without his consent. I was furious but knew it was my friend’s fault — how do you have an idea worth millions with no registration, copyright, trademark or patent?

All of these legal works perform different roles but any of them would have shown a track record at the barest minimum and lawyers would have been able to talk about the idea as still in progress.

My friend lacked the shield of love. This shield is made of professionals in different fields accessible to you by one phone call, text message, email or chat.

These people are usually friends or colleagues because you need them to be objective when you are silly yet be enamoured by everything that affects your life. Some of them may be acquaintances who respect you as a powerhouse.

Why does this matter?

All your decision-making does not happen in your area of expertise; you need someone else to tell you the traps in their industry. If you are already in trouble, you need someone with the knowledge and resources to get you out.

Usually, they say you should never lie to your Doctor, Lawyer and Spiritual Counsellor. Allow me to increase that list with some reasons.

Who makes up your shield of love?

A doctor: I understand the urge to know an oncologist whom you can brag about knowing. However, what you need is a general practitioner — someone you can call if your back is hurting or if your penis hurts when you wee or when your child is weeping at night.

A general practitioner cannot solve all your problems but is more likely to know over half the people required to solve your problems.

This person will keep you from dying or deteriorating while alive.

A lawyer: you need a lawyer who attends court or a legal clerk. A lawyer who attends court might not have a speciality in your case but is bound to know every lawyer in the city who is a formidable opponent in the courtroom.

A legal clerk is supposed to know which case went North or South. This means they are more likely to know which lawyer drove the nail in the coffin. If push comes to shove, you know which beast to unleash.

This person will keep you from being cheated on and misused.

A venture capitalist: in our world where everyone is launching something new, you need someone whose expertise in investment, forecast and analysis will let you know when you are about to make a terrible financial decision in the name of investment.

This person may not necessarily be a venture capitalist but must be someone who knows how to roll the dice in a room full of financial sharks.

This person will save you from financial bankruptcy.

A policy maker: regardless of your business acumen, one policy change is enough to alter your flow- take the people who make those policies seriously.

This person knows what policies the government is concerned about. They give you a speculative timeline to get out of industries or get into others. Think of them as the Rainmaker’s apprentice. Sometimes, they might even whisper your concerns in the rooms of power and ask for a significant change.

This person will save you from being caught unawares by the government.

A techie: you need someone who is security conscious and technically aware. This is the one who wants to bankrupt you with conversations about new gadgets but is likely the one who warns you about the dangers of tech.

This person is necessary if you purchase or invest in technology that seems useful. This person is the one who keeps you updated with the rest of the world and makes you sound intelligent in public.

This person will save you from being outdated.

A spiritual counsellor: you must have someone you reach out to when you want more than physical support if you subscribe to any faith. This person must share your values outside spiritual matters to avoid a fallout.

They do not need a faith title — they must have the spiritual strength to stay grounded when you are unstable.

This person will save you from losing your value system.

A therapist: you need someone who can spot when you are taking on too much pressure and have begun to implode — someone who would call you out when you need help but are too proud to ask.

This person spots patterns and tells when you have started to go out of sync with wellness, growth and self-preservation.

This person will ensure you do not self-destruct

Lovers: these people simply love you because you are. They need you to return home every day with or without a title. They need you to stay alive and not leave them alone for random reasons. They need you to know your presence makes their lives colourful.

This is where you actually renew your energy levels — they would be by your bedside if you were sick, sit at the benches in court, bear the brunt of your loss and drive you to your sessions if you lose your mind.

These people will ensure you always have a home to return to.

Creating a balance

I have met more people who scheme in the name of networking than people who want to be used. After reading this piece, do not look for whom to recruit. Are you usable to anyone? If yes, how available are you?

I am tired of people signing up at gyms to meet potential business partners or lovers. Yes, the environment matters only if you are not in those environments to take from people. If you only take from people, you might as well own your title — Exploiter. Ask people only about things and energy you can reciprocate.

Also, love does come softly — let people love you instead of using you.

Finally, be available to be loved and connected with. These relationships will bloom.

Some people will do these things for you in their little or large capacities with or without titles and they will do them well. So, focus on the results. Some are still in process — grow with them.

Enjoy your relationships.